...while I look around at the possibilities.
It is strange. When I was empolyed, and had not the time to even blink, I was somewhat diligent in keeping up with my blog. Now that I am not working, and not doing much of anything - I have neglected this and let it all but fall to the wayside. Of course, a great deal of that has to do with the fact that now I am never alone and rarely have a moment's peace or a minute to myself.
Everyone is constantly around and walking on eggshells like they all expect me to snap at any given second. Though I am immensely enjoying the break and the time off, I am unceratin what exactly I must do. I have fallen back into my bizzare sleep patterns that I was not able to maintain working 70 plus hours a week (and only getting paid for 40). I am up and about until the dawn breaks and then sleep for a couple of hours only to do it all again. I have finished three new paintings though in those late night wanderings. I have completely used up all my available canvases and am now going back over and retouching some of the old ones. I have converted my dining room into a studio. My easel, art table, sketchbooks, etc. have all taken up residence in there. Of course it has much better lighting than the upstairs - floor to ceiling windows seem to do that. And I have hung beaded curtains up ove rthe entry way and assigned the space as off limits to everyone but the cats... Now if I could just keep everyone the fuck out of my damned bedroom. Seem to be community property.
Have begun writing again - dug out the old forgotten and unfinished manuscript and started tinkering with that again so perhaps something will finnaly come of it as well.... We'll see.
That seems to be the key catch phrase of late: "We'll see." With a birthday in four days and another year learing at me I guess that is all I can do at this point... Just wait, and we'll see what becomes of what...
We'll see. |
I seriously feel like I am asleep and having some fucked up dream that I can not wake up from. On top of all the BS that had already happened... I come home from JD's graduation on Friday night and some one had broken in to my home and robbed me... Insult to injury. Deal with that... Then yesterday, damned if i did not end up with 12 stiches in my fuckin face... 5 on the outside of my lip, 7 on the inside... I am real Purty - let me tell ya. And I have to go try and find a job look like the Bride of Frankenstein. I don't dare ask..." What next? " I am scared to find out...
And the 6th month anniversary show is this Friday - and they thought Dazey was scary before...
I'm a pretty girl, mama. |
I just don't know what the hell to do with myself... I filed for unemployment. Have updated my resume. I sit in front of this dumb computer - half the time in tears - not knowing what to do. Then on top of everything else, the apartment manager leaves a note on the door about Roscoe - something about another $250 deposit - this on top of the $500 I have already put down for the cats. Just add insult to injury. My lease is almost up here but it is not like I can move with no fucking job. My life has insanely spiraled into the lyrics of a really bad country song... No car. No job. No house. What next?
I just hope the damn paper actually does pay me the week's severance pay like they said so I can at least keep the roof over my head for another month...
Just don't know what to do. Don't even have anything of any real value to sell...
Oh happy day. |
I just - for the first time in my life - got "laid off."
Was told - and I quote - "I'm sorry, Micael, but we are no longer needing your services..."
Pack your shit and go. Wait, we will help you pack and give you a ride home.
Gee thanks. Almost four years and I get help packing, a ride home, and a week's severance pay.
I guess it is true that no one is irreplaceable...
Cheers!I feel:  shocked |
It's hard to believe that in little more than a month, I will be 28... Seems such a definitive age for some reason. Perhaps it is because this year, JD graduates, L is getting married, my 10 year reunion is this summer. So many milestones this time around...
28. Maybe this will be a good year. I, suprisingly, am not dreading it like I have in the past...
Older and wiser, perhaps?
Who knows... |
| » Fingers crossed... |
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Well so far, so good. I already like this much better than the alternative. The other got to be so frustrating when you would write a novel length post and then go to submit it and it would hang up, error out, and disappear altogether... Haven't had a lot of time to really play with this one and see what all it offers, but the two seem similiar enough - if this one will just continue to function as it should. Hopefully, that is not too much to ask - or to hope for.
May. 17th, 2004 @ 01:06 pm
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| » Good Morning, Vietnam... |
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I finally gave up on Blurty and moved here... Will try to update this one with some of the pertinent entries as I have time... Hopefully this one will work better than Blurty did. It seems to have a stronger user base, so perhaps this will be a good move. Was time for a change anyway.
May. 17th, 2004 @ 07:03 am
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| » My Hero |
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This is why I forever adore this woman (direct quote from her LiveJournal):
"This morning marked a milestone: the first true moron-babybat Amazon review of LIQUOR by one "emileigh from texas," with gems like "[Lacks] the shock value ... of EXQUISITE CORPSE" (hell, if it lacks shock value, it can't be any good!); "I have to say that Liquor is rather bland, and doesn't really support Poppy Z. Brite's unflinching writing style" (I'm left wondering how a book I wrote can fail to support my writing style); "I hope that this is only a transgression period and that Brite'll be moving on to better things" (OK, emileigh, let's haul out the trusty old dictionary and look up "transgression," shall we?); the especially fabulous "For the boy-love fans out there- you will be let down"; and last but not least, "Don't get me wrong, I'll still read the sequel. But now I know better then to get excited over it."
emileigh, if you're reading this, do me a favor and don't read the "sequel." You are a textbook example of the kind of reader I'm glad to shake off like that last irritating drop of pee clinging to the tip of my dick."
I can not fathom the idea that ANYone would be less than enthusiastic over ANYthing this woman has ever written. Kudos to her for allowing her writing to grow with her and not forcing the same genre. We have seen that happen severely and the all too tragic, burn-out effect that results. So, so sad. Not that it was all that endearing to begin with...
If you have never read anything by the nothing-less-than-amazing Poppy Z. Brite, do so now.
May. 12th, 2004 @ 09:43 am
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| » THIS is why I love this woman: |
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"If you wanna marry Joe Millionaire, go ahead. If you're a celebrity and you wanna marry your high school sweetheart for 55 hours, go right ahead. If you're J-Lo and you wanna marry 18 people, for six days each, hey! Go right on ahead. But if you happen to be reasonably minded and have fallen in love and wanna marry your soul mate and make a life of it, and you just so happen to be the same sex, then NO! How dare you! You demon creatures! We'd rather you just buy gasoline and support our war and continue to consume and fear in our country so we can make money off you. But do us a favour - don't hold hands in public."
— P!nk to the Herald Sun
Apr. 20th, 2004 @ 10:33 am
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